THE DEAF WIFE AND THE CONCERNED HUSBAND

A man feared that his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He said to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response.

So the husband moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he was about 20 feet from his wife and asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again he gets no response.

So, he walked up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no response.

So he walked right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” 

“Ralph, for the fifth time I’ve said, chicken!”

 Source: As told in Cathy L. Wray, The Perfect Blend Devotional
(WestBow Press, 2014) pages 147-148

CONSIDER THIS

The problem may not be with the other one as we always think. It could be very much within us. We sometimes tend to look to heal in others problems or issues that are actually ours.

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FINDING THE FIRE HYDRANT

One fine day, a young nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home, when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the 
fire truck was a dalmatian dog. Without any prompting the children began to discuss the dog’s
 duties.

“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster.

“No,” said another, “the dog is  there just for good luck.”

A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said 
firmly, “To find the fire hydrant.”

Source: based on a story found in  Lulu De Zulu, Blow Your Blues Away
(Xlibris, Corp., 2009)

CONSIDER THIS

That raises a good question: Of what use are all the animals to us?  There are different answers  to that question. Some animals provide love and companionship, others provide protection, still others provide a display of of total and utter beauty.

But animals also communicate to us.  We often try to teach and train our pets. What if we turn things around and listen carefully to what animals have to teach us?

Ask the beasts and they will teach you;
the birds of the air and they will tell you;
ask the plants of the earth and they will teach you;
and the fish of the sea will declare to you.
Who among these does not know
that the hand of God has done this?
In God’s hand is the life of every living thing,
and the breath of every human being.

Job 12:7-10

CAN I BUY ONE HOUR OF YOUR TIME

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

Son: ‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’

Dad: ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.

Son: ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

Dad: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

Son: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

Dad: ‘If you must know, I make $50 an hour.’

Son: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

Son: ‘May I please borrow $25?’

The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked.

‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you daddy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money and started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.’

Source | Unknown

PONDER AND CONSIDER

“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.” | Barbara Johnson

In the Gospel of John we read that “there is no greater love than this, to give your life to the people you love.” (John 15:13). As I see it, life is time, and time is life. If you want this verse to touch you differently, exchange  the word “life” for “time” and read the verse again:  “There is not greater love than this, to give your time to the people you love.”

How are you using the precious gift of time to nurture healthy relationships?

THE SILENT TREATMENT

 

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight.  Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5.00 am.” He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00 am and he had missed the flight.  Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5.00 am. Wake up.”

Source |  Brian King, Ammunition 357: Jokes for Your Internet Ammo, page 210

PONDER AND CONSIDER

Probably at one time or another you have been either on the giving or receiving end of a silent treatment, otherwise known as the cold shoulder. What are you saying by not saying anything at all?

HOW NOT TO COMMUNICATE

A man who wanted to work on his communication skills with his wife, someone he loved dearly and whom he didn’t want to lose, went to the bookstore and purchased a couple of books on communication.  He read them and a few other ebooks he downloaded free  from the internet. He then handed all of them to his wife and said, “Here. Read these. I’m not going to talk to you until you do.”

Source | unknown

PONDER AND CONSIDER

A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing.

SIX CARTONS OF MILK

A wife asks her husband, “Would you please go shopping for me? Buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six.”

A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why on earth did you buy six cartons of milk?”

He replied, “They had eggs.”

PONDER AND CONSIDER

  • Good communication is not as easy as it sounds! Misunderstandings can happen so easily.
  • Are we really listening to what is actually being said?

 

WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS

A couple were going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip.

The husband went ahead to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in.  Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

PONDER AND CONSIDER

Miscommunication, conscious or unconscious, intended or unintended, can in fact shift the whole tenor of a conversation and deform what could have been a vacation with a taste of paradise into a dreaded visit that tastes and feels like hell!